Last night I dreamt that I was standing at the summit of an incredible mountain. The view was breathtaking. Looking over the edge and downward, I saw clouds and a night sky. If I tried hard enough, I could stretch my arm out far enough and reach stars. The downward sky was pitch black, and the only reason I could even see the clouds was because the mountain I was standing on was glowing.
Dream me would occasionally retreat a few steps away from the edge back toward the center and lie on her back to look up at what would be the sky, but instead were warships and tanks, scared and worried faces of people enduring a war... There was a lot of fire and to the far left was a building which had collapsed because all sorts of forms of transportation that didn't make sense, had collided into it. The scene was completely devoid of color and sound as if these things had chosen to discern themselves from the atrocity.
I felt peace. I didn't worry. I knew the world above me was going to end and that the plague of the war's aftermath was going to soon engulf my unintentional place of solitude. I was okay.
And maybe after all, it is about being okay. Life is about taking those things in which we have no control over and being okay with them because God has control. There is beauty in disaster because God does make beautiful things out of dirt and dust. Flowers and vegetation grow out of dirt and soil just as we grow from the dirt of our mistakes and tough times that we endure.
I have had 3 months of reflection over the dirt of my life. My constant errors, situations that have risen (apart from my errors) and I can see the silver lining. Believe me I'm running for it and I'm not stopping or slowing down.
I believe when we are young enough to not have a considerable past (however old enough to design one), our line of sight is broadened yet not as much as to see things deeper than at face value. I guess maybe I'm only speaking for myself when I say that I wanted to experience and learn. What I've gathered from experiencing are narrowed eyes and caution. I have absolutely no regrets regarding the decisions I've made in my past because now not only do I have reason for my actions, but I have heart accompanying reason. I won't be ashamed of the dirt from which I've risen because I'm still growing. I no longer am concerned over what lies on the opposite side of expanded horizons, but have what I have and am doing what I am doing because I love what I have, and I love what I do. It isn't foolish to be curious over what lies "beyond," it is an urge of a young and ambition person.
When they also retreat, they'll realize that there is nothing that they want. The home and people they have, they'll love and with reason and without reasonable doubt.
B.Thompson
